Thursday, April 2, 2015

What's in a name?

At 18 weeks pregnant, I'm just waiting. First you wait to find out if the babe has lady parts or boy parts. Then you wait to take your stupid glucose taste. Then you wait for the results. Then you wait to take your strep B whatever test thing. Then you wait for those results. Then you wait for super awesome summer adventures you have planned and you wait for the baby to finish coming and you wait for labor and you wait for delivery and you wait for the baby to start sleeping for more than 3 minutes at a time and you wait for your short term memory to come back... I'm still waiting on that one.

Mr. Adventure and I were talking the other day about how grandparent names are totally in right now. I suggested we could name a little girl after my granny, Margery. He didn't veto it, which is a good sign, but he did say we should probably start talking about names.  I said, "I figured we would wait to see what kind of penis it has.  You know, whether it's an innie or an outie."  Because that's how a lot of our conversations go.

Last night while we were lying in bed, I suggested we could always go for a good unisex name.
"Like Cthulhu."
MA: Cthulhu is a boy's name.
Me: Spencer, Ashley, Madison, Carol, Vivian... those were all boy's name.  We should auction off baby naming rights to make some extra money.
MA: Would we name our baby something like Chalupa Batman?
Me: Obviously.

I'm pretty sure he's not really open to naming our baby Cthulhu.  I mean, this is the same man that vetoed naming Hamburglar Clyde, Rufus and Genghis Khan.

Speaking of Hamburglar, he's been super clingy with an upset stomach for days.  He has hardly eaten since Friday or Saturday, which has to be one of the most frustrating things as a parent. Louie C.K. has a bit on kids not eating.

First he was constipated, then I gave him a fruit and veggie smoothie on Sunday.  Since then, his innards have been all watery and gross.  I had the baby monitor on last night and he woke up around 1:30a.  Mr. Adventure went in to check on and change him, and there was poop.  It leaked out of his diaper and on to his pajamas and bedding a little bit, and I could here the Mister gagging as he was changing Chumbercules.  He's always been sensitive to gross things.  But hopefully he can adapt because we may have another boy, and many boys find amusement in the gross. 

Baby boy is still drinking milk and water and he's not dehydrated.  I'm assuming this is some sort of viral diarrhea and it will pass with time. He doesn't have a fever or anything.

Other than that, he's doing great.  I told him to get his water the other day and he said, "No water."  And all day yesterday he was telling people to "Go away."  Which is something his dad says to him and the dogs.

I don't mind that Chumby needs extra love and cuddles, but it seems like he only really wants to be held when I'm making dinner.  Particularly when I need to take something out of the oven or chop something up.  He's getting good at helping make dinner, though.  He's a champ at tearing lettuce leaves for salads and he makes sure to taste every ingredient before I put it in anything.  Including raw garlic.  He didn't seem to like it, but he went back for more, so who knows?  He also enjoys helping me unload the dishwasher, whether the dishes are clean or dirty.  Mostly he hands the dishes to me, but he's started putting pots and pans away on his own.  I'm totally going to turn him into one of those creepy 6-year-old body builders.  Like the boy version of Toddlers in Tiaras.

And I think that's about it.  Long live Cthulhu!

Oh!  I almost forgot!  This week, Sean Connery is the size of a pickle or a sweet potato.  So, pickle yourself some sweet potatoes!  Maybe they will be good.  Have you ever had a pickled sweet potato?  Me neither.

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