Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The end of an era

Well, folks.  Here we are.  It is baby Hamburglar's birthday.  My baby is now a man.  I've decided the best way to celebrate is to send him out in the woods with the pocket knife I got him at the Bonneville Dam gift shop to kill his first bear.  And make his own diapers from a deer hide.  Or maybe beaver skin.  It's time he put all of the skills he's learned over the past year to use.

Or not.

But we are going to start potty training.  One of my coworkers gave me the potty chair she used for her oldest son.  Yeah, a used potty chair seems kind of gross, but this one sat in her attic for, like, 15 years.  I'm not sure exactly why, but that makes it seem better/less gross for some reason.  I figure that, since Hamburglar is walking now, he can start walking to the toilet.  Now we just need to figure out the best way to go about it.  I'm thinking about just putting him on the toilet every hour so he gets used to it?  I don't know.  more research is needed.

Also, it's the end of my 22 month run of no periods.  I started my period yesterday.  And, whereas it's nice to have a physical sign that I'm not all knocked up again, I'm going to miss not bleeding every month.  I'm converting from a New Mom back into a Real Human.

Hamburglar's birthday was a big hit.  We had his party on Saturday and there were kind of a lot of people there.  We had a barbecue and I set the time from 1-3p.  We didn't start the grill until just after 1 and, if I were to do it again, I would have had Mr. Adventure start the grill a bit earlier and maybe do the pinata while the food was grilling.  But the food was great and it was a hit.

(Ignore the man texting in this picture.  He's the only person we let visit us in the hospital after Chumbercules was born.)

Well, the pinata wasn't a hit.  Because it was a pull-string pinata.  I stuffed it with bubbles, wind-up toys and Minion graham crackers.

I had a friend over on Friday night who helped me do things like: pick up dog poop and make little hot air balloons.

We made the hot air balloons out of paper lanterns I got on clearance at Pier One, some yarn I had lying around, and little gift boxes I found at the dollar store.  And the vases of flowers came from Whole Foods.  Today is Nick the Florist's birthday, too!

After she left, Little Miss Adventure helped me make cupcakes and a cheeseball.  The cupcakes burned.  Because my stove is old and the temperature gauge doesn't exactly work well.  But they were only a little burned, so I rolled with it.

For the cake, I made a Poke Cake.  Kind of.  I used a box of Devil's food cake, baked it, let the cupcakes cool over night (because they were burned and I was contemplating throwing them away).  The next morning, I saw that Mr. Adventure had eaten one of them, so I figured they weren't too burnt to eat.

I made concentrated cherry jello (I only used one cup of boiling water instead of adding a cup of cool water, too) and I poked holes in the tops of the cupcakes with a fork.  When I tried to pour the jello, I made a giant mess.  So, I decided to rip the top/center off of each cupcake and try again.

After successfully jello-ing each cupcake, I made the frosting.  I used vanilla pudding, concentrated (I only used 1 cup of milk to mix it) and beat it with a tub of Cool Whip.  It was pretty good.  Hamburglar got frosting in his eyes.

I also made an angel food/pineapple cake.  It's my go-to cake if I need a desert in a hurry.  You just take a box of angel food cake and a 20 oz. can of crushed pineapple, mix them together in a bowl, pour into a baking a dish and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.  I only set the kitchen timer about half the time, so I'm never exactly sure how long things take.  I also use my hand as a measuring cup a lot of the time, so in half of my specialty recipes, I have no idea what is in them.  Like my hot wings.  People ask for the recipe all the time and I've given it to them, but no one can ever reproduce it.  I think because I do a lot of things by taste?  I don't know.

Anyway, that's about it.  Mr. Adventure has school tonight, so I think I'm going to take the baby on a dinner date somewhere.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Cold Turkey

I have a confession to make.  Pictures of breast milk gross me out.  I'm a member of a first time mom group and one of the moms posted a picture of her milk and I didn't like it.  I don't really like milk at all, so I would likely have the same reaction to milk of the bovine persuasion.  I can't even drink milk without thinking the word "pus" which automatically makes me put it down.  Milk is gross.

That said, I am 12 days away from my goal of breastfeeding Hamburglar for one year.  I was so focused on meeting this goal, I kind of neglected to research how to stop.  Just like when I was pregnant, I was so focused on being pregnant, that I kind of forgot about the delivery aspect until it was looming.  I mean, I know I can't quit breastfeeding cold turkey because that would just lead to mastitis or a plugged duct or something.  It seems like he's just kind of naturally eating less and less milk as time goes on, but I don't know.

I've read that you just cut out feedings here and there to wean a baby from the breast.  Like, one every three days.  But this is all so new and weird.  I'm excited to have my body back.  And I am proud that I have gone this far and not had to supplement with formula at all.

There were times when I thought I may have to.  And two nights ago Mr. Adventure suggested we start giving him formula at night when he wakes up hungry.  I just looked at him and asked why he doesn't want me to reach my goal?  Sure, I was overreacting and whatnot.  But at least I didn't start crying.  Which is probably what would have happened a couple of months ago.

We go see Dr. Soulpatch on the 19th and I figure I can ask him all my questions about quitting breastfeeding then.  Like: do I give him something else?  Like cow milk or donkey milk or something?  What are you supposed to feed/hydrate a baby with during that weird in-between baby and child stage?  What should I dress Hamburglar as for Halloween: Alex from A Clockwork Orange or the Chucky doll from the movies?

Only the important questions, of course.

With Hamburglar's birthday party right just 8 days away, we need to get the house cleaned and yard ready this weekend.  I used this rad website called to convert pictures of Hamburglar into coloring sheets for his party.  Mr. Adventure called me a narcissist.  I am neither affirming nor denying this claim.  I still need to figure out what to put in the pinata.  Maybe liquor bottles for the grown ups and crayons and bouncy balls for the kids?

Chumbercules is no longer walking.  Now he is running.  Yesterday, he covered his eyes and ran across the living room, tripped over a toy, fell and started laughing hysterically.  That's my boy.

He also says the word "hat" while touching his head.  Sometimes it is a question.  Sometimes a statement.  Always the word hat.  No matter the situation.  It's pretty cute.  So, I have determined that he needs all the hats in the world for his birthday.

In dad/brain tumor news: It is cancer.  It's called plasmacytoma, a marrow cancer, and those have a really good rate of being treated with radiation therapy.  They're keeping him in Utah for at least another week at the Huntsman cancer center, which is allegedly very good.