But this is not my story.
If you don't want to read about baby poop, you should probably stop reading now. Because it's going to get gross. And maybe a little graphic. I'm not sure yet.
Sure, Hamburglar had a tiny blowout once when I was holding him and I got a little bit of poo on my arm, but it wasn't a big deal. And he peed in his own mouth once, when he was about two weeks old, which was kind of funny. He didn't think so, but come on. He peed in his own mouth! I can't wait to tell his prom date or future spouse.
Here's a little background:
Chumbercules stopped pooping on the weekends a little over a month ago, I think. Or maybe longer. I don't know. I haven't changed a shitty diaper in a long time. But he typically poops once a day, around the same time every day, except on weekends. Mr. Adventure says the Monday poo is the worst thing in the world.
Last week, I had family come to town on Tuesday, so I left work early and picked up the babe at his normal poop time, so he didn't poop. I'm assuming it's because he loves me best. Or maybe because I traumatized him by asking, "Who did this to you? How did this get here?" every time I changed his poop diapers. But who knows?
I was getting ready to leave work last Wednesday when I received this text message:
"So I put him in his chair so I can go out and smoke. I heard him fart when I set him in the chair and figured I would just check his diaper after I got back. When I came back in after smoking he was covered from his feet up in poop. The chair was completely covered in poop. And he was sucking on one of the straps, that was completely covered in poop. Should have been more careful [since] he didn't poop yesterday."So yeah. Gross, right?
We just had a three day weekend and I thought I would be changing a poo diaper yesterday, but nope. Dude held it for an extra day and this morning, at 8 a.m., I received a text that said, "There's the poop."
In related news, our ducky bathtub has been getting plenty of use.