Tuesday, May 27, 2014

It happens

Everyone seems to have a diaper blow out story.  If you type "diaper blow out" into google, you get over 2 million hits.

But this is not my story.

If you don't want to read about baby poop, you should probably stop reading now.  Because it's going to get gross.  And maybe a little graphic.  I'm not sure yet.

Sure, Hamburglar had a tiny blowout once when I was holding him and I got a little bit of poo on my arm, but it wasn't a big deal.  And he peed in his own mouth once, when he was about two weeks old, which was kind of funny.  He didn't think so, but come on.  He peed in his own mouth!  I can't wait to tell his prom date or future spouse.

Here's a little background:

Chumbercules stopped pooping on the weekends a little over a month ago, I think.  Or maybe longer.  I don't know.  I haven't changed a shitty diaper in a long time.  But he typically poops once a day, around the same time every day, except on weekends.  Mr. Adventure says the Monday poo is the worst thing in the world.

Last week, I had family come to town on Tuesday, so I left work early and picked up the babe at his normal poop time, so he didn't poop.  I'm assuming it's because he loves me best.  Or maybe because I traumatized him by asking, "Who did this to you? How did this get here?" every time I changed his poop diapers.  But who knows?

I was getting ready to leave work last Wednesday when I received this text message:
"So I put him in his chair so I can go out and smoke.  I heard him fart when I set him in the chair and figured I would just check his diaper after I got back.  When I came back in after smoking he was covered from his feet up in poop.  The chair was completely covered in poop.  And he was sucking on one of the straps, that was completely covered in poop.  Should have been more careful [since] he didn't poop yesterday."
So yeah.  Gross, right?

We just had a three day weekend and I thought I would be changing a poo diaper yesterday, but nope.  Dude held it for an extra day and this morning, at 8 a.m., I received a text that said, "There's the poop."

In related news, our ducky bathtub has been getting plenty of use.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Bumper to bumper

I'm pretty sure it was the same day I made my last post that I went home and Hamburglar sat up all on his own.  Sure it was a week ago, but he's so good at it now one would think it had been longer.  Also, in other exciting development news...

We have cruising!  Chumbercules is still "crawling" like a worm, but he pulled himself up on the laundry basket and used that to stabilize himself to get to the couch and used the couch to get to me, who was sitting on the floor eating grilled cheese and tomato soup.  It was only about three or four steps, but Fatty McTwochins is cruising!

The Wonder Weeks says if you observe your child during leaps, you can see what he/she has a preference for skills-wise.  Chumby likes to watch people, first and foremost.  He is highly observant in new situations.  And he's also a pretty rough and tumble physical kid.  A friend of mine had a little boy about two weeks after Hamburglar was born and he isn't crawling yet, but he's talking.  He says words in order to portray meaning.  Hamburglar is still babbling.  He likes to say dadadada and Mr. Adventure pretty consistently asks him, "What?" when he starts with the babbling das.

Hamburglar McCloud had been banging his head on his crib and getting his little legs stuck in the slats up until a couple of days ago.  Not stuck stuck, but stuck nonetheless.  And more stuck in the sense that he wasn't quite coordinated enough to pull his legs out and get on with his life.  He needed help and was not afraid to ask for it.  Very loudly.  The head-banging and leg-sticking got me thinking that maybe I should put a bumper on his crib so, I looked to the internet!

I don't know if any of you do much internet research, but pretty much no matter what you search for (like, "Is it safe to use a crib bumper?") you get results ranging from, "Sure!  No big deal!" to, "Oh my God.  Even asking that questions assures that your baby is going to die."  And often times, both of these responses can be found in the same sentence.  So, what do you do?

I asked a friend who is a green family blogger and knows a ton of stuff about everything I want to know.  From sustainable toys and baby gear to free schooling and independent learning.  Plus she has a pre-teen son who she was obviously able to keep alive through his infancy.  She advised me that most babies stop doing things once they get irritated enough by them (Chumbercules is no longer smashing his head or getting his legs stuck.  Or he's just complaining about it less).  And she also pointed out the American Academy of Pediatrics is advocating against their use.  Many consumer groups also want crib bumpers banned and the state of Maryland has successfully banned them.

In other news...

I thought my favorite baby had six teeth now, but it turns out he only has five and is working on busting out the sixth and he is driving me mad.  He's also preparing for Leap 6, per the Wonder Weeks, which means he's in a fussy phase.  But, fussy phase combined with teething means I am not sleeping and it's starting to wear on me.

Also, the nursery still isn't painted.  Maybe this week?

And here is a link to the 15 things you should really register for for your baby.

All I know for sure is that I'm about ready to trade in breastfeeding for self-whisky-bottle-feeding.  Or something.  I need to make up a solids schedule for the babe so we can start transitioning him to people food.  In four more months, he will be a year old.  I'm 2/3 towards my breastfeeding goal.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

First Mother's Day, more teeth and stories to tell

Here, in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave... Mother's Day was Sunday.  It's a Hallmark Holiday, but Slate has an interesting piece from 2009 on the origin of Mother's Day.

My oldest (and current favorite) brother came to town on Friday and I brought him and his wonderful wife to a drag show at one of the gay bars downtown.  It was Caravan of Glam, a Portland drag troup, and they were spectacular.  One of the girls was doing back flips in 4 or 5 inch heels.  Later in the night, she kicked her heels off and did a no-handed back flip!  Phenomenal!  Mr. Adventure stayed home with our favorite baby, and it was nice being able to go out and enjoy myself and not feel bad/worry that Chubs McBabylegs wasn't sleeping or was terrorizing whomever we were able to trick into babysitting while we both went out.

Saturday, we did some yard work then went over to Grandpa's for a bit.  The grandparents remarked on the wee babe's ability to pull himself up on to things and his knack for finding the two things on the floor that he shouldn't be playing with (the power strip and the dog's toy bone).  The dog, however, saw the baby going for her bone and she grabbed it and ran off before he could get to it.  Probably a smart move.

Mr. Adventure handled all the night wakings on Saturday night so I could sleep.  I guess Chumbercules thought it was an all night party with dad and I woke up Sunday morning and saw text messages from 2:30am proclaiming the babe was still awake.  And he was up by 7.

We did a few things around the house, then we grabbed lunch on our way out of town to the hot springs resort.  We went to the same one that Chumbercules and I went to on Easter.  He had even more fun this time and was, once again, a big hit with the little girls.  There was another baby there who was born five days before Hamburglar and both the babes were delivered by the same midwife!  I don't even know how it came up, but it was kind of  a Georgianna love fest for a few minutes, because I love my midwife.  I kind of want to have 30 more babies just so I can spend more time with her.  But I dont' think that's really a good reason to procreate.  "I liked my doctor so much, I just kept having babies!"

Something I learned towards the end of my pregnancy that has reinforced itself since, is that women love to tell their birth story.  Or stories.  I think the first tellings or writings of the birth story are kind of a right of passage, but I was at a birthday party a couple of months ago, I think Hamburglar was only 3 or 4 months at the time, and it was like these moms were clamoring to have their birth stories heard over each other.  So, if you feel like you haven't had the opportunity to tell your birth story enough, here is a link to TheBirthSurvey.  It's also an excellent resource to view intervention rates and information about people's personal experiences and opinions with specific doctor's and midwives.

In other news, we are up to six teeth now!  SIX TEETH!  Chumby isn't even 8 months old yet (though he will be in four more days).  Realizing he is nearly 8 months old, and gazing upon his shark-like mouth, I realized we should probably be feeding him solids on the reg, so I started giving him organic peas.  I don't know that he likes them, but he ate some of them and made some pretty hilarious faces.

You know what he does like, though?  The Talking Heads.  And he thinks it's hilarious when I sing Psycho Killer.  He's also been watching people's mouths really closely when they talk.  So, he babbles, he pulls himself up on things, and he's still mobile, but he doesn't sit up by himself.  Mr. Adventure was asking me if it's normal and I have no idea.  So, I just told him yes.

I want to take Chumbercules to the beach this summer.  I think he will like the sand and the waves.

And I think that's it.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014


There's a first time for everything, or something, and some of those firsts are exciting.  You get the first tooth, the first steps, the first words, the first time you get a phone call asking to bail you out of jail...  We here in Adventureland experienced our first illness.  I think Mr. Adventure brought it home from school and we were all pretty sick, though I was the only one that had a fever.

Taking care of a sick baby when you are sick is one of the worst thing in the world.  He made all the crying and whimpering sounds I wanted to make and he sounded so darn pathetic.  His face was all snotty and he needed lots of extra love, which was fine.  He was all snuggly which worked well with my inability to move more than a couple feet without needing a nap.  One of the other worst things in the world is taking care of a healthy baby (or a baby who is feeling better) when you are still sick.  I felt like I was dying and Hamburglar felt well enough to get into everything.  He had his first taste of dog food.  He didn't seem to mind it and Rupert didn't get mad that someone else was eating out of his bowl.

Fatty McTwochins is almost 8 months old.  Dr. Soulpatch's office called me yesterday to schedule his nine month appointment.  She was trying to get me to schedule it for the end of this month.  She said that you can have the nine month appointment as early as eight months, and I told her that would make it an eight month appointment.  I know he won't be getting vaccines or anything at this appointment, but I just thought it was weird.  So I scheduled it for mid-June, when Hamburglar will be 9 months old.

Mr. Adventure got a great video of Chumbercules making Chewbacca sounds last night.  He was also making weird gurgly sounds that made it sound like he was under water.  It was hilarious.  And it was nice to have fun with him before he STAYED UP NEARLY ALL NIGHT SCREAMING LIKE HE WAS GOING TO DIE.

Every hour and a half.  I was so tired, I brought him to bed with me where he proceeded to spit up everywhere.  Then I changed him and he peed everywhere.  Finally, after I got him back to sleep, I was faced with the choice of showering or sleeping for another hour before work.  I chose sleep and I still smell like baby pee.  I'm hopeful that the chemicals in the lab will mask the smell.  Or I may go take a whore's bath in the lab bathroom.

I was supposed to go to Seattle last weekend for a baby shower and to visit friends, but because I was so sick and missed two days of work last week, I had to postpone/cancel my trip.  I'm still trying to recover, paid time off-wise, from maternity leave.

I've had to switch up Hamburglar's bathing routine.  I've traditionally just brought him into the shower with me, but with his wiggliness combined with his desire to grasp everything in sight (or at least flail his baby arms about and knock everything down), it is becoming dangerous.  And slippery.  So, during a mid-night baby soothing/Amazon shopping session, I ordered an inflatable duck tub.  And Chumbercules LOVES it.  Or, at the very least, he loves splashing in it and making a giant mess.  I like being able to set the tub on the kitchen counter and bathe him standing up.  No stooping!  And it was super easy to inflate.  We have a pump, but I just blew it up and it didn't take long at all.  Of course, I have no concept of time whatsoever anymore because most days feel like they have lasted several weeks.

Speaking of things I would like the baby to do that he is not doing: I would like him to not bite me.  He grew two more teeth and has bit my nipple a couple of times.  I've read various ways of how to deal with it.  My boss's boss warned me this would happen and told me to just flick him on the cheek.  Other things I've read have suggested putting him down/ending the feeding session.  I'm trying the latter one and it seems to be getting better already.

And you know what else?  It's been almost 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding.  Hamburglar McCloud has never had formula and I bet I've saved a ton of money.  So that's nice.  Though, I think we should probably start feeding him solids regularly at some point soon.  We give him tastes of things, but feeding solids hasn't really become part of our routine quite yet.

And I think that's all.