Thursday, February 26, 2015


Man!  I've been really slacking on the blog front, in case you guys didn't notice.

Hamburglar is learning all the new words in the world.  (He said Snake!  And he learned neck and chin last night, but chin is kind of hard to say.  And he sticks his tongue out all the way when he says elephant (and it sounds more like "ellfin")).

He's also still rocking the fluff mullet.

Mr. Adventure and I have both been sick with sinus infections and respiratory infections, but guess who isn't?!  The toddler who runs around the house while we take turns being awake and weakly crying out, "No please stop.  *cough cough* I'm dying".

The weather was nice last weekend, so we spent a lot of time at the park, because Chumbercules needed to burn off some energy and I needed to go somewhere where there was limited access to sharp objects.

We've recently hit the milestone where you can't leave anything anywhere, unless it's REALLY high up.  Because toddlers have hands and wants and needs and decent enough coordination and thought to plot to make their desires realities.

I was making dinner the other day and Chumby pushed one of the kitchen chairs over to the counter and climbed up on it to see what I was doing and steal pieces of cheese (I think he may be part mouse).  I turned my back to put something in the garbage or the sink and HE GRABBED THE KNIFE OFF THE KITCHEN COUNTER AND WAS WAVING IT AROUND!  He was really happy about it and having a good time.  I yelled something like, "WHATAREYOUDOINGOHMYGODGIVEMETHATKNIFEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"  and took the knife from him.

Um, lesson learned without bloodshed or a trip to the hospital.  I call that a success.

I'm thirteen weeks pregnant now and saw the midwife yesterday.  The heartbeat is 151, for those of you who like to predict gender based off those things.  Chumby was in the 140s the whole time.  But yeah, with being pregnant, sick and having a toddler, I feel like I'm dying.

I'm going to San Jose for work in a couple weeks.  It's just me and a coworker and I'm leaving Hamburglar and Mister Adventure home for three nights while I get paid to get a full 8+ hours of sleep every night in a three star hotel by the airport.  I'm so excited.  And fresh seafood.  And the Winchester Mystery Mansion.  And work stuff, of course.

I found this really rad book at the library called Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies. It's written by a scientific researcher or something and it's really good.  It talks about how gender is determined and how and why super thin ladies are more likely to have girls and how only 20% of the male population has gender specific sperm and it's hereditary and how millionaire men are 60% more likely to have sons....  If you like to know weird things and the reasons behind them, you should totally check it out.

Did you know that, at 13 weeks, your baby has fingerprints?  The Pregnant Chicken talks about it here.  And this is an older Ugly Volvo post (from the beginning of the month) but I think it's funny.

And I'm taking time off work tomorrow and Hamburglar and I are going on a hot date to get new tires on the car.  We are going downtown so we can wander to lots of fun places and visit our favorite bookstore and maybe get lunch before nap time.  Then I think it's purging and spring cleaning time and getting rid of everything and re-organizing bedrooms and whatnot.  I think we should move Chumby to his fancy race car bed that we found on the side of the road last year.  I just need to peel off the stickers and maybe find a new mattress.  Or maybe use his crib mattress and see how tall he is come September?

And that's all.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

This cheating heart

I have a confession.

I have plans to be unfaithful to my midwife.

I saw her last week and, the more I think about it, the more the idea of a hospital birth is filling me with anxiety.

Long-time readers will recall that a hospital-based certified-nurse-midwife was mine and Mr. Adventure's compromise, so everyone felt comfortable, since there had been complications with the Little Miss's birth.  And the birth itself was fine, it was staying overnight in the hospital that sucked balls.

So, today, this afternoon, after work, Mr. Adventure, Hamburglar and I are going to check out a new-ish birthing center that was opened by a midwife that used to work with my midwife at a different hospital!  (Is that like sleeping with your husband's cousin?)

I'm pretty excited.  It looks perfect on paper.  They include a doula as part of the service, they do the newborn exam right there (none of that pesky, waiting for a pediatrician to release your babe from the hospital) and they come to your house 24-48 hours after the birth to check on you, so you don't have to put on pants or load a million babies into your car (in case you have a baby/clown car).  The doula will come to your house while you're laboring if you like, or she will meet you at the birth center.  And they have yoga classes and birth classes and childcare classes, all right there!  I'm pretty excited.

Also, you come in for postpartum checks after 1 and 3 weeks, instead of just once after two weeks.  I definitely thought something was seriously wrong with my junk/I was dying after 1 week.

And I am thinking, if I decide to go with this new midwife, I should probably tell my current midwife in person?  I don't know.  But I'm already pretty excited.

In other news, I had a "bitch-be-crazy-and-thinks-everything-is-a-miscarriage" ultrasound last week.  Everything looks fine and it turns out, Sean Connery is a week younger than initially thought.  Which means, my new EDD (estimated due date) is two weeks before Chumbercules turns two.

So, NOW I'm ten weeks pregnant.  And I already told my boss and coworkers.  They're all pretty excited.

The nice thing about pregnancy the first time, is you can totally be an ostrich and ignore what happens at the end until the end.  But this time, I know what's coming and I keep thinking about the birth part.  I need to mother-fucking relax and start living in the mother-fucking now.

Two other things:

Thing one:
Hamburglar loves Chu's Day and Chu's First Day of School by Neil Gaiman.  If you're looking for a cute and fun children's book, check one or both of these out.  And, even though I pretty much have both of these (and Little Blue Truck) memorized, we still have fun reading them.

Thing two:
This is my favorite thing I've read lately.

Other than that, Horn went beep/engine purred/ Friendliest sound/ You ever heard.

That's all.