Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Muscle shirts, nursing manners and contact paper

Something devastating happened to me this morning.  The wee babe, Hamburglar, woke me up at 3:45a, and for a few brief moments, I thought it was Saturday.  Thinking Tuesday is Saturday is probably in the top five worst things in the world.  Right up with there with genocide, starvation, contaminated water and ecological destruction, or something.  I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world, but it's probably at least tied for number five.

I googled "My baby is cuter than your baby" the other day (because he totally is), and I came across this funny post by Steve Volk about his twin boys.
"Your babies, I hate to be the one to tell you, are perfect - as in perfectly ordinary - and smell of sour milk.  When they wail and scream it's so unpleasant it shaves a minute or two off the lifespan of everyone within earshot.  But my babies bear the perfectly symmetrical faces of the cherub.  When they cry, they do so in warm bursts - reminiscent of Mozart or birdsong."
Ha!  He includes pictures of his boys and they're cute, but I wasn't wowed.  Some of my friends in Seattle have the handsomest (most handsome?) baby I've ever seen and they are pregnant with number two now.  If they have a little girl who is half as cute as their boy, they may need to change their attitude on having guns in the home and invest in a shotgun.  4rlz.

Also, he's right about the mighty cry of Chumbercules.  It breaks glass and curdles milk and has also been known to turn men to stone.  His cry is more deadly than making eye contact with Medusa.  Now I want to make a snake wig to put on the baby.

Speaking of babies in snakes, I put Chumby in a red muscle shirt, blue shorts and put a temporary snake tattoo on his arm for the 4th of July.  Because America.

Anyway, after reading that first Steve Volk piece, I went digging into the Dad Files and found this one called, "How to Stay Happy in Marriage - Even When you Have Kids."

In other news, here are a few pictures of things we've done to the kid's room.

We had Sherwin Williams do a color match of Benjamin Moore's paint color Kiwi.  I think it turned out well.

The above is obviously before we put the baseboards in.  We still need to do window and door casings.  I've also recently discovered all of the amazing things you can do with contact paper.

I used contact paper and duct tape to turn the two door, ugly ass captain's bed we found on craigslist into this amazing purple piece of furniture that my favorite 6 year old loves to sleep on.

Did you know that you can buy chalkboard contact paper?  I found some!  I put it on the door crooked (this is the same door from the above photo), but Mr. Adventure said it just adds a Tim Burton-y feel to the closet door.

I have one more outlet cover to cover.  I think I'm going to go moustache, but I haven't decided yet.

Chumbercules does this thing when he's nursing... he likes to put his hand in my mouth and grab my teeth.  I didn't mind at first because I figured babies learn about things by touching them, so whatever.  but then he scratched my gums with his baby talons and Mr. Adventure thought it was weird, so I did what I always do and I looked it up.  I came across this post over at BlissTree called "How to Teach your Baby Nursing Manners."  The scenarios are my fave.  Hamburglar definitely falls into the Dentist category and is also a bit of a Scratcher.  He's currently working towards gymnast status, but that all depends on the time of day and I think it may be related to milk flow or whether he has air in his belly.  I don't really know.

And I think that's it.  For now.

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