It happens

Everyone seems to have a diaper blow out story.  If you type "diaper blow out" into google, you get over 2 million hits.

But this is not my story.

If you don't want to read about baby poop, you should probably stop reading now.  Because it's going to get gross.  And maybe a little graphic.  I'm not sure yet.

Sure, Hamburglar had a tiny blowout once when I was holding him and I got a little bit of poo on my arm, but it wasn't a big deal.  And he peed in his own mouth once, when he was about two weeks old, which was kind of funny.  He didn't think so, but come on.  He peed in his own mouth!  I can't wait to tell his prom date or future spouse.

Here's a little background:

Chumbercules stopped pooping on the weekends a little over a month ago, I think.  Or maybe longer.  I don't know.  I haven't changed a shitty diaper in a long time.  But he typically poops once a day, around the same time every day, except on weekends.  Mr. Adventure says the Monday poo is the worst thing in the world.

Last week, I had family come to town on Tuesday, so I left work early and picked up the babe at his normal poop time, so he didn't poop.  I'm assuming it's because he loves me best.  Or maybe because I traumatized him by asking, "Who did this to you? How did this get here?" every time I changed his poop diapers.  But who knows?

I was getting ready to leave work last Wednesday when I received this text message:

"So I put him in his chair so I can go out and smoke.  I heard him fart when I set him in the chair and figured I would just check his diaper after I got back.  When I came back in after smoking he was covered from his feet up in poop.  The chair was completely covered in poop.  And he was sucking on one of the straps, that was completely covered in poop.  Should have been more careful [since] he didn't poop yesterday."

So yeah.  Gross, right?

We just had a three day weekend and I thought I would be changing a poo diaper yesterday, but nope.  Dude held it for an extra day and this morning, at 8 a.m., I received a text that said, "There's the poop."

In related news, our ducky bathtub has been getting plenty of use.

Bumper to bumper

I'm pretty sure it was the same day I made my last post that I went home and Hamburglar sat up all on his own.  Sure it was a week ago, but he's so good at it now one would think it had been longer.  Also, in other exciting development news...

We have cruising!  Chumbercules is still "crawling" like a worm, but he pulled himself up on the laundry basket and used that to stabilize himself to get to the couch and used the couch to get to me, who was sitting on the floor eating grilled cheese and tomato soup.  It was only about three or four steps, but Fatty McTwochins is cruising!

The Wonder Weeks says if you observe your child during leaps, you can see what he/she has a preference for skills-wise.  Chumby likes to watch people, first and foremost.  He is highly observant in new situations.  And he's also a pretty rough and tumble physical kid.  A friend of mine had a little boy about two weeks after Hamburglar was born and he isn't crawling yet, but he's talking.  He says words in order to portray meaning.  Hamburglar is still babbling.  He likes to say dadadada and Mr. Adventure pretty consistently asks him, "What?" when he starts with the babbling das.

Hamburglar McCloud had been banging his head on his crib and getting his little legs stuck in the slats up until a couple of days ago.  Not stuck stuck, but stuck nonetheless.  And more stuck in the sense that he wasn't quite coordinated enough to pull his legs out and get on with his life.  He needed help and was not afraid to ask for it.  Very loudly.  The head-banging and leg-sticking got me thinking that maybe I should put a bumper on his crib so, I looked to the internet!

I don't know if any of you do much internet research, but pretty much no matter what you search for (like, "Is it safe to use a crib bumper?") you get results ranging from, "Sure!  No big deal!" to, "Oh my God.  Even asking that questions assures that your baby is going to die."  And often times, both of these responses can be found in the same sentence.  So, what do you do?

I asked a friend who is a green family blogger and knows a ton of stuff about everything I want to know.  From sustainable toys and baby gear to free schooling and independent learning.  Plus she has a pre-teen son who she was obviously able to keep alive through his infancy.  She advised me that most babies stop doing things once they get irritated enough by them (Chumbercules is no longer smashing his head or getting his legs stuck.  Or he's just complaining about it less).  And she also pointed out the American Academy of Pediatrics is advocating against their use.  Many consumer groups also want crib bumpers banned and the state of Maryland has successfully banned them.

In other news...

I thought my favorite baby had six teeth now, but it turns out he only has five and is working on busting out the sixth and he is driving me mad.  He's also preparing for Leap 6, per the Wonder Weeks, which means he's in a fussy phase.  But, fussy phase combined with teething means I am not sleeping and it's starting to wear on me.

Also, the nursery still isn't painted.  Maybe this week?

And here is a link to the 15 things you should really register for for your baby.

All I know for sure is that I'm about ready to trade in breastfeeding for self-whisky-bottle-feeding.  Or something.  I need to make up a solids schedule for the babe so we can start transitioning him to people food.  In four more months, he will be a year old.  I'm 2/3 towards my breastfeeding goal.

First Mother's Day, more teeth and stories to tell

Here, in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave... Mother's Day was Sunday.  It's a Hallmark Holiday, but Slate has an interesting piece from 2009 on the origin of Mother's Day.

My oldest (and current favorite) brother came to town on Friday and I brought him and his wonderful wife to a drag show at one of the gay bars downtown.  It was Caravan of Glam, a Portland drag troup, and they were spectacular.  One of the girls was doing back flips in 4 or 5 inch heels.  Later in the night, she kicked her heels off and did a no-handed back flip!  Phenomenal!  Mr. Adventure stayed home with our favorite baby, and it was nice being able to go out and enjoy myself and not feel bad/worry that Chubs McBabylegs wasn't sleeping or was terrorizing whomever we were able to trick into babysitting while we both went out.

Saturday, we did some yard work then went over to Grandpa's for a bit.  The grandparents remarked on the wee babe's ability to pull himself up on to things and his knack for finding the two things on the floor that he shouldn't be playing with (the power strip and the dog's toy bone).  The dog, however, saw the baby going for her bone and she grabbed it and ran off before he could get to it.  Probably a smart move.

Mr. Adventure handled all the night wakings on Saturday night so I could sleep.  I guess Chumbercules thought it was an all night party with dad and I woke up Sunday morning and saw text messages from 2:30am proclaiming the babe was still awake.  And he was up by 7.

We did a few things around the house, then we grabbed lunch on our way out of town to the hot springs resort.  We went to the same one that Chumbercules and I went to on Easter.  He had even more fun this time and was, once again, a big hit with the little girls.  There was another baby there who was born five days before Hamburglar and both the babes were delivered by the same midwife!  I don't even know how it came up, but it was kind of  a Georgianna love fest for a few minutes, because I love my midwife.  I kind of want to have 30 more babies just so I can spend more time with her.  But I dont' think that's really a good reason to procreate.  "I liked my doctor so much, I just kept having babies!"

Something I learned towards the end of my pregnancy that has reinforced itself since, is that women love to tell their birth story.  Or stories.  I think the first tellings or writings of the birth story are kind of a right of passage, but I was at a birthday party a couple of months ago, I think Hamburglar was only 3 or 4 months at the time, and it was like these moms were clamoring to have their birth stories heard over each other.  So, if you feel like you haven't had the opportunity to tell your birth story enough, here is a link to TheBirthSurvey.  It's also an excellent resource to view intervention rates and information about people's personal experiences and opinions with specific doctor's and midwives.

In other news, we are up to six teeth now!  SIX TEETH!  Chumby isn't even 8 months old yet (though he will be in four more days).  Realizing he is nearly 8 months old, and gazing upon his shark-like mouth, I realized we should probably be feeding him solids on the reg, so I started giving him organic peas.  I don't know that he likes them, but he ate some of them and made some pretty hilarious faces.

You know what he does like, though?  The Talking Heads.  And he thinks it's hilarious when I sing Psycho Killer.  He's also been watching people's mouths really closely when they talk.  So, he babbles, he pulls himself up on things, and he's still mobile, but he doesn't sit up by himself.  Mr. Adventure was asking me if it's normal and I have no idea.  So, I just told him yes.

I want to take Chumbercules to the beach this summer.  I think he will like the sand and the waves.

And I think that's it.

Firsts

There's a first time for everything, or something, and some of those firsts are exciting.  You get the first tooth, the first steps, the first words, the first time you get a phone call asking to bail you out of jail...  We here in Adventureland experienced our first illness.  I think Mr. Adventure brought it home from school and we were all pretty sick, though I was the only one that had a fever.

Taking care of a sick baby when you are sick is one of the worst thing in the world.  He made all the crying and whimpering sounds I wanted to make and he sounded so darn pathetic.  His face was all snotty and he needed lots of extra love, which was fine.  He was all snuggly which worked well with my inability to move more than a couple feet without needing a nap.  One of the other worst things in the world is taking care of a healthy baby (or a baby who is feeling better) when you are still sick.  I felt like I was dying and Hamburglar felt well enough to get into everything.  He had his first taste of dog food.  He didn't seem to mind it and Rupert didn't get mad that someone else was eating out of his bowl.

Fatty McTwochins is almost 8 months old.  Dr. Soulpatch's office called me yesterday to schedule his nine month appointment.  She was trying to get me to schedule it for the end of this month.  She said that you can have the nine month appointment as early as eight months, and I told her that would make it an eight month appointment.  I know he won't be getting vaccines or anything at this appointment, but I just thought it was weird.  So I scheduled it for mid-June, when Hamburglar will be 9 months old.

Mr. Adventure got a great video of Chumbercules making Chewbacca sounds last night.  He was also making weird gurgly sounds that made it sound like he was under water.  It was hilarious.  And it was nice to have fun with him before he STAYED UP NEARLY ALL NIGHT SCREAMING LIKE HE WAS GOING TO DIE.

Every hour and a half.  I was so tired, I brought him to bed with me where he proceeded to spit up everywhere.  Then I changed him and he peed everywhere.  Finally, after I got him back to sleep, I was faced with the choice of showering or sleeping for another hour before work.  I chose sleep and I still smell like baby pee.  I'm hopeful that the chemicals in the lab will mask the smell.  Or I may go take a whore's bath in the lab bathroom.

I was supposed to go to Seattle last weekend for a baby shower and to visit friends, but because I was so sick and missed two days of work last week, I had to postpone/cancel my trip.  I'm still trying to recover, paid time off-wise, from maternity leave.

I've had to switch up Hamburglar's bathing routine.  I've traditionally just brought him into the shower with me, but with his wiggliness combined with his desire to grasp everything in sight (or at least flail his baby arms about and knock everything down), it is becoming dangerous.  And slippery.  So, during a mid-night baby soothing/Amazon shopping session, I ordered an inflatable duck tub.  And Chumbercules LOVES it.  Or, at the very least, he loves splashing in it and making a giant mess.  I like being able to set the tub on the kitchen counter and bathe him standing up.  No stooping!  And it was super easy to inflate.  We have a pump, but I just blew it up and it didn't take long at all.  Of course, I have no concept of time whatsoever anymore because most days feel like they have lasted several weeks.

Speaking of things I would like the baby to do that he is not doing: I would like him to not bite me.  He grew two more teeth and has bit my nipple a couple of times.  I've read various ways of how to deal with it.  My boss's boss warned me this would happen and told me to just flick him on the cheek.  Other things I've read have suggested putting him down/ending the feeding session.  I'm trying the latter one and it seems to be getting better already.

And you know what else?  It's been almost 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding.  Hamburglar McCloud has never had formula and I bet I've saved a ton of money.  So that's nice.  Though, I think we should probably start feeding him solids regularly at some point soon.  We give him tastes of things, but feeding solids hasn't really become part of our routine quite yet.

And I think that's all.

A hot tip

Being pregnant and having a baby brings with it tons of advice, mostly unsolicited.

The best advice I received while pregnant was from an ex's wife at my baby shower.  She told me to only read positive birth stories and to keep negativity out of the birthing suite.  I think it helped.  but who knows?

My second favorite piece of advice was for post-baby.  A friend whose son will be two this summer told me to smell my newborn baby's head as often as possible and just soak in the smell, because it fades pretty quickly.  And she was right.  I think he was only a month old when his head started smelling like head.  It reminded me of Garp in The World According to Garp when he would sneak in to his son's room and smell his breath while it was still sweet, before it soured.

So, after careful consideration, I have determined what my advice will be to new mothers.  Hopefully I will only give it when solicited, but who knows?  On the plus side, I have condensed it into two simple words: Pee first.  It doesn't matter what you are about to do or that "it will only take a second."  Chances are it will take way longer (because nearly everything takes three thousand times longer with a baby, particularly when a baby is crying).  I have to remind myself that Hamburglar won't die if I take an extra two minutes getting to him because I need to use the loo.  Really, it just means I will be able to better care for him when I'm not worried about peeing myself.  So, there you go.  Pee first, ladies and gentlemen.

I took Chumbercules swimming for the first time on Sunday.  There is a hot springs resort less than an hour from town that has geothermal pools and Sunday is family day.  So, the water was warm and there were other kids there and he seemed to really like it.  I want to go back again.

Also, I'd like to give a shout out to Amazon customer service.  I had the day off yesterday and decided it was time to put together the Radio Flyer walker wagon I had purchased about a month ago, and one of the pieces was broken!  I was very sad.  But, they are sending me a replacement and I have thirty days to send back the broken one (Radio Flyer doesn't just send replacement parts, I guess) and the lady at Amazon suggested I put the wagon together first before packaging the broken pieces up and returning them, just in case I'm missing something else or something else is broken.  She's a genius.

We also went to the mall where I purchased two new bras from Dillard's (that actually fit!) and we saw the Easter bunny.  And it got me thinking:

The Easter bunny is creepy and weird.  Why do kids sit on his lap?  I mean, with Santa there is a purpose.  You are telling him what you want for Christmas.  There is communication.  With the Easter bunny, you are just sitting on the lap of a person in a costume who says absolutely nothing.  And you can't read their facial expression.  What's under there?  Also, I bet the inside of that head smells really bad.

So, I've decided that there should be a leprechaun at the mall for St. Patrick's day.  And maybe Lady Liberty for the 4th of July.  And why not sit on the lap of a headless turkey for Thanksgiving?  The possibilities are limitless.

That is all.

Far away friends, baby essentials and homemade baby food

I have two friends having babies in June. One of them is having a girl and we are still in negotiations about the full dowry I will receive when Hamburglar marries the wee lass.

I have been involved in some pretty quick turn-around emails with the other friend. She has many of the same questions I had at about the same stage in my pregnancy. It all started with her asking, “Do you think a baby bouncer seat is necessary?”

Nearly seven months in, I still use my bouncy chair several times a day. I think, though, my favorite baby advice person says it best over at Pregnant Chicken in her post on the Barest Bare Essentials:

"I mean, sure, we could all forgo the toys and bouncy chairs but if you factor in all the money you'll have to spend on your mental breakdown, then you're still ahead of the game if you spring for them."

I remember shortly before delivery, I wondered things like, “Will I feel empty after the baby is born?” The answer is no. I did not feel empty. My stomach was all weird and my rib cage still hasn’t gone back to normal and I think my hips are permanently wider and I still don’t miss being pregnant. I admit, it’s much easier to take care of a baby on the inside than it is on the outside, but my arms were filled with an odd, alien-looking baby complete with pointy head.

And, honestly, I did not think he was particularly beautiful when he was born. He started getting cuter after about a week and now, in all his neck- and wrist-roll glory; with his beautiful head (which has rounded out quite nicely) I can admit that I am madly in love.

And now things are starting to get fun! Chumbercules is ever on the move now. He recently discovered that he can get into the kitchen/dining room and found the dog water bowl and had an excellent time playing with it. He isn't crawling in the traditional manner, but he army crawls like a pro and what he lacks in form, he makes up for in speed.

I’m having a problem not spending tons of money on darling outfits to clothe him in and fancy Aiden and Anais crib sheets and blankets and new toys every week… Realistically, he doesn't play with half of the toys he has. Part of that is because I never put them out for him. I read somewhere that, for social, mental and emotional development, all the toys in the world can’t make up for human interaction. And that’s what I remind myself of every time I hear about a new toy or see something I think he may like. Although, Gordman’s has some really cute Calvin Klein outfits and I may have bought two more of them over the weekend.

I really need to spend less time thinking about buying the baby toys and more time taking him on walks and to the park. He loves being in the stroller when I bring one (or both!) of the dogs on a walk with us. He kicks his legs and squeals in delight and tries to pet them.

As more of my friends back in Western Washington start families of their own, the more homesick I feel. I don’t really have any friends with kids out here in the middle of nowhere. I have friendly acquaintances and coworkers, but most of them have older kids. The idea of communal living is becoming more and more appealing to me. We can buy a big old chunk of land and put four houses on it and have a big ol’ garden in the middle and we can all pitch in and raise our kids and grow good food…

In other news, I've been super sick. I had mastitis and am on antibiotics. My fever got up to almost 104 on Friday. I started feeling a bit better on Saturday and took Chumbercules for a walk, then Sunday I started feeling shitty again. I think the fever and mastitis lowered my immune system enough to allow the plague that has been sweeping my work place to grab hold and I missed three days of work. I’m feeling better now, but being sick at home with an increasingly mobile baby is no fun. Mr. Adventure took care of our favorite baby in the mornings and allowed me to get some much needed rest, but it was still hard and extra exhausting. I think I've been pushing myself too hard trying to do everything.

I’m supposed to go to Seattle at the end of the month, but Mr. Adventure can’t come with me so I don’t know if I’m going to go. It will be nice to get away, but visiting always make me miss it more when I get back home.

And now: To work! I have three days to catch up on. And my desk is just as messy as I left it.

I almost forgot! I made my own organic brown rice cereal (by blending up some dry brown rice in the blender) and my own organic baby apple sauce (by slicing up an apple, cooking it in ¼ cup of water with the lid on, then throwing it in the blender). It took about ten minutes to do both. A friend bought me this book and it is amazing.

Okay. That’s all for realz.

Cloth Diaper Revelation 3.0

Our favorite baby is 6.5 months old, but we are still trying to master the art of cleaning our cloth diapers in hard water.  Much like pimping, sifting through all the info on cloth diapering and figuring out what works for us ain't easy.

Originally, I was using Rocking Green soap but then I was all like, “Shit’s expensive.  Any free and clear soap should do according to all the things I read.”  So I started using the Biokleen free and clear powdered detergent combined with Calgon and that seemed to work.  For a while.  Then I stripped the diapers with RLR.  The first time went great and I thought I was in love.  Then I did it a second time and I was pretty Meh about it.

My inserts were not as fluffy as they once were and they weren't absorbing as well and I was starting to get sad about it, so I did MORE research, because that’s what I do, and I decided a week or two ago to go back to the beginning, with some changes.

For the record, I’m not affiliated with Rockin Green or Calgon or anyone or anything other than myself and my desire to get my diapers clean and working in an optimal state or something.

I ordered Rockin Green’s Hard Rock (in Lavender Mint scent, because it was cheaper) from Amazon along with some Funk Rock.  I followed the instructions on the Funk Rock and soaked my diapers in it for a couple of hours, then realized I should have soaked them in the Rockin Green instead, so I threw some of that in there, too, and let it sit for a few more hours.  Then I washed them per the instructions on the Rockin Green, including a second rinse at the end (which I don’t normally do).

I've got to say, I wish I had never deviated from the cleaning power and brilliance of Rockin Green.  Not counting the initial prep wash, I have washed my diapers twice since I received my Rockin Green in the mail and my inserts are already way fluffier than they have been for the past month or so.  I’ve been throwing a tablespoon of funk rock in with my pre-rinse, then about 3 tablespoons of Rockin Green for the wash and yeah.  No more Calgon.  No more stripping with RLR.  No more using other, less superior soaps.  This is obviously true love because Rockin Green let me go, but I came back.  And it let me come back. 

Don’t worry, Rockin Green, girl, baby doll.  I love you and I will never leave you again.  My eye may wander from time to time, but I know you’re the soap for me.  Sure you’re a bit on the spendy side, but you’re worth it.  Only the best for my baby’s bottom.

Also, I have a box of Calgon and decided to use it with my regular laundry.  Terrible idea.  I washed all my bedding and my favorite blanket came out kind of coarse feeling, if that makes sense?  The texture is just off, and I’m big on texture.

In other news…

Hamburglar McCloud, aka Chumbercules, aka Sir Screams-a-Lot, is becoming more and more mobile.  He’s not quite crawling yet, but he gets on all fours and rocks.  And he rolls, army crawls, and does a version of The Worm where he scoots his butt towards his belly, then lifts his front up and throws it forwards.  Of course, with this mobility comes more interest in the things we would rather he not be interested in; like the DVDs and the fire place.  I am impressed with his efforts to remove the giant bolts from the cast iron fire place doors, though.  I did finally put outlet covers in, though.  He was getting over to the outlets a bit too often for my taste.

And I think that's it... for now.