Thursday, February 6, 2014

Real Life Sims

Having a baby is kind of like playing the Sims, but with a real, human baby.  Who you are probably going to drop on the floor eventually.  I don't know if you've played the Sims, but when your character gets too tired, they will pass out wherever.  They don’t give a shit where they sleep.  Like me in college after a night of heavy drinking.  Or like my baby.  Sadly, there is no meter that tells you how badly they need to go to the bathroom (imagine the potty training possibilities if there were!) or how hungry or tired they are.  I mean, there kind of are. 

Fatty McTwoChins (aka Hamburglar McCloud, aka Chubs McBabylegs, aka Fatty McFatfat) will rub his little red-rimmed eyes and cup his ear when he’s sleepy-faced.  And he used to suck on his hands when he was hungry, but he doesn't seem to do that anymore.  He now goes from totally happy and content to oh-my-god-I-am-most-certainly-going-to-die-if-you-don’t-feed-me-right-this-second.  He seriously acts like I’m not going to feed him.  And he tends to scream the loudest just before I slip my nipple in his mouth.  Then he eats like he hadn’t just eaten three hours ago.  I think he’s going through a growth spurt.  Mr. Adventure thinks he’s just being a dick.

Both are legitimate possibilities.

Chubs also cries when he’s wet which, according to my step mom, is a good thing.  She said that babies who don’t like being wet are easier to potty train.  I hope that’s true because I think that once you are old enough to ask someone to change your diaper, you are too old to be wearing one.  But what do I know?

Little man has been waking up every three hours to eat all week.  It’s killing me.  And making me sooooo tired.  I’m getting bags around my eyes, Internet.  I don't like it.  I've spent the last four months wandering around looking like a civilian survivor of a particularly harsh Civil War.  I’m ready to be pretty again.  So, for my birthday dress this year, I ordered this dress.  I have finally decided that I am old enough to wear leopard print and not feel weird about it.  I sized down based on the reviews.  Keep your fingers crossed for me that it fits! 

In other news...

Mr. Adventure finished the floor in the nursery!  Sure, it takes 90 days for it to completely cure, but it is done!  We are going to go in at the end of the month to repaint, because the 50 years of tobacco smoke keep oozing through the wall.  I've heard using Killz to seal in the grossness will help.  I guess we will see.  After I do a bit more research.  Maybe the nursery will be done by the time Hamburglar turns twelve.

That is all.

No comments:

Post a Comment